step up

Well we made it through the step up to the next dose ok. It wasn't as bad as we figured which is a good thing. Im just surprised at the overwhelming tired. all i wanna do is sleep. the nurse from www.mslifelines.com which are the makers and supporters of this poison I mean med I have to inject 3 x weekly into various places of my anatomy, called and gave me some helpful information. I had been using ice before the shot (what they told me to do...) but obviously that wasn't workin for me because i get these baseball size knots and bruised places that look like I got beat. SO she told me try heat after and do deep massage for 2 to 3 minutes to disperse the med. OK.
so it doesn't look but like a golf ball size welp now but hey. I will take that over the other one.
AL so she told me to take the anti nausea med and the aleeve before I take the shot so it is in my system ok. tried that and I didn't throw up near as much. It was beginning to look like the set from exorcist for a while here.
Im just glad that is over. We have 5 more at the 22 mcg then move up to 44 mcg. and then we are on that one for the long haul. so just getting through this rough part is the key.

I have alot to get me through and lots to keep fighting for. we had Hannah Montana night here Saturday night as she had her 3d show on Disney. I watched that for about 10 min before nausea set in but Bella loved it. I did take some photos. She was in full outfit wig to guitar to enjoy the show.

She had Vacation bible school before that. her program was on the 20th
the photos didnt turn out so good I was exhausted by the time we got there.
This is her friend Mandalyn they looked so cute.

here she is on stage doing her thang. They had a hawaii theme this year which was just her thing since Nana had just gotten back from Hawaii. she had on her MOOMOO and her flowers in her hair like a true little native girl.





Just some various shots from the Program. Here are some from The Pie in the face. Her teacher Mrs Gloria got the pie in the face. THe kids had to bring money (change) to church and put it in the jar of either Mrs Gloria or the Pastor (His name escapes me right now) well the boys went out collecting I think for him they got all their piggy banks together cuz Mrs Gloria lost and was to get the pie in the face.






Mrs Gloria prepared she had a shower cap on and glasses and a tarp wrapped around her all ready for the pie to hit. THe preacher hit himself with it instead then hit her hahahahahaha so THEY BOTH got the pie in the face. THE KIDS LOVED ITTT! I think the adults did too. It was great fun. SHe was a good sport about it too.
sorry my photos didn't turn out so good. but you get the general idea. THEY HAD FUN AT BIBLE SCHOOL.

I think that is about everything going on right now. Bella is getting ready to go back to school. John is working and Im in bed mostly.
I did have some publications come out with scrapbooking. ONE THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING A WHILE ON. I will take photos when IM up to it and show you soon.
hope everyone is doing well.

Im still alive .... sorta

This is a very short post to tell yall I am still alive... The injections are going... well they are going. The actual shot isnt to bad its the after effects. I am just dragging trying to do this post. Amazing I felt better BEFORE I started this. I KNOW they are for long term stuff to keep my brain from looking as much like swiss cheese. Sometimes I wonder if It is worth it to just take the time you have and have fun with it instead of making your time longer and feel like crapp the entire time.. who knows. NOT LIKE IM GONNA DIE so dont even get your drawers knotted.
Just how long I can do some of the dubious tasks for myself instead of requiring help.
Bella has an ear infection and A red red throat. some leftovers from strep. I have to stay away from her which is hard when your baby is sick. she wants mama but then again she would ask for the pope if it would get her out of taking this nasty medicine. I dont blame her I tasted it and I agree with her its just gross.

Too bad health care cant be fun and make things taste good and be all sunshine and bunnies. Truth is .. its not. I havent scrapbooked since well.. I dont remember I started that mini album with the photos of Bellas trip to the beach and it is still sitting there waiting on me not to be so nauseaus and come embellish and journal it. I figure in about 4 to 6 weeks (according to the dr) I will be used to this poison I mean medicine I have to shoot into my body 3 times a week and not be hurling my guts out. yeah sorry thanks for the visual huh? Just be happy john didnt take a picture for the scrapbook..

Rebiject?

SO I started my Rebif therapy. This is a photo of the auto injector that makes giving the shots easier. AND IT DOES REALLY. It has taught me alot, mainly how looks can be deceiving. Cuz this thing looks kinda cool but OMG the stuff that is inside it.... not so cool!
I want to meet the man who wrote the side effect journal for this medication and kick him hard in the nuts and say OH! IT WILL PASS.
TAKE A TYLENOL!
My body has never shook so hard, even at a rock concert has it not shook this hard. The chills were overwhelming and tired like you have never experienced tired in your life. The flu is not a good way to describe it. THe headache the chills the fatigue. I PRAY this does pass. I did get in touch with a good friend that has been on this rebif therapy for 3 years now and she says it gets better. (THANK YOU GOD) cuz I cannot do this for the rest of my life. THe body is an amazing thing it will adjust and adapt to most anything. THIS WAS JUST THE SMALL DOSE! the 8.8 dose. I cant imagine the 44.0 dose. She told me to get Naproxen that it is stronger or either just take more of the aleeve, that one, aint gonna cut it. TO take the med at bed time so you sleep through most of the bad stuff. HOW DO YOU SLEEP? YOUR BODY IS SHAKING SO DANG HARD NO ONE CAN SLEEP!!@!
IT will get better it will. I keep saying that over and over it will get better.
I didnt expect the nausea and the overwhelming tired. I literally have slept since I took the first injection on Friday. I was ok at first and thougth this aint too bad If this is as bad as it gets I can handle this no probbbbllleeemmm, then, omg the aleeve wore off or the meds kicked in or the little rebijector thing came and kicked me in the stomach I guess. cuz the shaking started. The Fever, The nausea, the omg what have I done feeling.
BUT good news is all the bad stuff, IT is starting to wear off now and I feel a little better still just tired. THE GOOD NEWS IS.... I get to take another shot tonight and do it all over again.. hurrah!

Bella is going to Vacation Bible School this week.. which is kinda good so I can sleep in and she isnt here until later in the afternoon. Poor baby. I feel like a horrible mom some days especially like now when I wanna go and be at VBS and help them do stuff but there is just no way I can physically stand up for more than 2 minutes better yet be around 60 screamin kids...
Maybe by the time school starts it will be better and I can help do stuff then.

GOD HAVE MERCY!

FABULOUS!!!

I got happy mail today!!




I got the book in the mail today! So if you seee it in a store soon by you, buy it, then look on page 81! That is my nephew Adam! HEY ADAM! I know he thought this page was never gonna be in print. surprise. Thank you so much to Wendy McKeehan and Kitty Foster for using my page.

I got some cute cute photos the other day of some Wee Wii players. Check out Eva Caroline under Bellas tootalege :





They were playing Wii Bowling which Bella is TOTALLY DOMINATING us all in.
She and daddy have been playing Wii sports EVERY NIGHT. I always know when I hear Bella's wheheww I WONNNN I WONNNNNnnnn I BEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAT YOU I WONNNNNN I DID ITTT I BEAT YOUUU NA NA NA NA naaanaaaaaaaaaaaaa NA! in her cute little sing songy voice.
I need to teach her how to be a happy winner I guess. SHe just needs to be a little more open when she wins and a little more happy about it (insert that ROLLING EYES smiley here)
I will be right back she just informed me "SHE WASN'T DOIN NUFFIN SHE WASN'T POSED TO BE!" WITH HER ALL INNOCENT FACE.... I better go check this one out.

She said she wasn't in my closet tryin' on my shoes. "She was just borrowin them for a little while then she will puts em all backed." Im thinking she will be doing that NOW!



My mom just called me with some sad news. My Aunt Norene is in the hospital. She is 90(?) ish years old I can't remember her exact age but she is in the hospital, she has some blockage and shingles. They are doing surgery on her today. SO please keep her in your prayers.

Happy Fourth Of July!

I hope everyone HAD A VERY HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY. This year was really again, different for me. I guess I say ME. Because IM USED to the big 4th Of July family reunions at My aunt and Uncles house. John didn't grow up with this so he doesn't "get it" It is not as important to him and kinda a headache to do a big family thing for him. With my health these days.. I kinda have to agree.
Bella has been sick with Strep and then last minute came home. so We didnt have anyone here for the 4th but just us. It was nice and quiet, ahhh relaxing,
but I couldnt help but think of the years gone by, how fun it was having the entire big family reunion. (it wasn't at our house though thank you Jesus!) My nerves aren't great with those things anymore either.
I can remember growing up everyone would gather at my grandma's house. Her house wasn't a mansion to say the least. It started as a very small little house and as more kids came more rooms were added with whatever materials they could find. Over the years that left some spots where one could admire the stars from bed, or if something was under the house under ya feet. It was comfortable though. It was full of love and always had a crew of folks there. AND ALWAYS SOME GOOD EATIN!
THey would put a big pot of something... on the front porch.. ussually fried catfish or something. The menfolk would sit out there and lie and tell tales I mean they would tell stories about the good old days. WHo had what and was doing this that or whatever. Im sure there were a few beers in that cooler behind the chair but DONT LET MY GRANDMAMA see it!

After Granmama died it moved up to Uncle Tom's house. Everyone would meet and we would go behind their house under the pecan trees. There was a whole slew of us.
Some years in excess of 60. We always wondered how we all fit in that house of Grandmamas but we always did.
Slowly family members either moved away, some passed on. Some married and had other things they did on that day and the numbers dwindled.
John and I moved away 4 years ago and havn't been to one since, MAINLY, because of my health and because ussually he has to work the next day (this is first time in those 4 years it has fallen on a weekend). This year was no different. I just am not up to riding that far in this heat. Birmingham almost killed me riding that far. I was in bed for several days afterwards. Also gas prices... ughmm yeah. Medical bills right now have to take a preference. The family SAYS they understand. Yall know me and my sentiments that they are gonna HAVE TO understand.
Mama and Kasi and her husband were going to come here, but, Bella had strep and didnt come home till the last minute, so we kept changing plans till we just decided to just hang loose this year.
I miss those family reunions from WAY BACK IN THE DAY. BACK when Uncle Earl and Daddy were alive.When Aunt Auglalia (just call her aunt Pauline we couldnt ever pronounce it right either) would come to Mississippi from florida with her kids. OH I loved it when they all were there. LET ME TELL YA those three didnt pull no punches. THey didnt let any family drama take place cuz they would tell ya RIGHT QUICK TO SHUT THE HELL UP YOUR ACTING STUPID. Man I miss them so much. LIfe has not been the same since they passed on. AND...It just isn't as effective when I say it. Although I say it about with the same distinction they did.. I should have paid a little more attention I guess.
I miss those big cookins' and eatins' we did back then.
How the kids would "go play" and they better not see you back till they called ya. Everyone talks about global warming well let me tell ya, July 4th In rural Rankin County Mississippi IT GOT HOT!!! PLENTY HOT! Didn't matter, we were kids we didn't care.
We would play "king of the pond" and "who could catch Peanut" (the horse, he was meannn he didnt like to be caught that much) we played "chase" and whatever else we could think of to occupy us till it was time to eat. When it got dusk we caught Lightenin bugs in jars and dared each other to walk back to the old barn to see who was the most brave... or stupid for that matter. THERE WAS BATS IN THAT BARN I SWEAR IT TO THIS DAY.
Now.. all that is gone. Those days are over. I hate I cannot give that to my kid. The days are so different now and it is harder to get people together. When you do it is more hurried and rushed. The kids are all up in the house in the a/c playing video games (hey can you blame em its hot out there!!! I would be too)
SO different today.
BUT, The whole family reunion thing is nice... but we all should be grateful we had those days. Thank those forefathers that kicked butt for our freedom, We could be speakin some other language that was alot of vowels and complaining about having to get up and work in the textile factory getting beat instead of having our own business or being able to do AS WE PLEASE In this great ol US of A! SO now we have the right to miss our familys or complain about the one we have. ALL because those dudes fought for those freedoms we have now.
GOD BLESS THE GOOD OL US OF A!

Hope you and yours have a wonderful 4th.

grrrrrr MEDIA"CON"

YEAH yeah yeah I know this post is late in the day getting out. just CONTACT MEDIA"CON" about that, that would be our cable and internet provider. CHRIS in customer service is one of my new found friends. LORD KNOWS I was on the phone with every customer service rep up there tryin to figure out what exactly the reason we had no internet or television at exactly 6:05 when the sun was shinin' and there were blue skies.
All I could get as an answer was "outages happen" hmm wonder what they would think if that was the reason you didn't pay the bill? well I had an outage in my check book as in its outage of money... sorry we will get to you as soon as a technician can put some money in the account... yeah right. THAT WOULD GO OVER. Not ONLY I was upset but several neighbors that were having the same issues and getting the same answers from the loverly customer no service reps. grrrrrr. FINALLY I demanded SOMEONE who was a supervisor of I didnt care what department.. did they have a vehicle that they could go get someone to fix it? so CHRIS came to the phone. I asked his name because I figured we would be friends because I was gonna keep calling him because I didn't have anything else to do, I couldn't work because.... MY INTERNET WASN'T WORKING!!!! He thought that was pretty funny but soon learned I was serious. Bless his heart I have to tip his hat for the patience he had. He told me of some of the calls he was getting from some VERY IRATE individuals (a stockbroker that worked online, and several online business') I advised him that hmmm that might clue em in that THEY HAVE A PROBLEM! ALthough he was in SOMEWHEREVILLE USA and couldnt really do nuttin. HE DID TRY REALLY HARD.... BUT, We are sooo fiddna go to DSL!!! .. RANT OVER....

SO ANYWAY.. I scrapped while we had no cable or internet.. heck not much ya can do. Sit here and stare at each other. John played video games. I scrapped lol. was a funfilled night at the Jones residence. This is the kit I showed you from Scrapbook Obsessions. HOW ADORABLE IS IT!?!! GCD studios papers omgosh if you have not used these... they feel like ..like wall paper sorta. I dunno they are not papery feeling if that makes sense. I LOVE LOVE THEM! THey are now on top of my list of favs. WAS REALLY FUN to play with this kit this month I have more stuff to make with it so check back and see the yumminess they have!

Bella I BELIEVE is getting FINALLY a little homesick. SHE CALLED TODAY on her own will and I told her I missed her and she said "I miss yous too mommy" FIRST TIME she has said that since she has been gone! I hate she is missing us. She can't come home though till the Strep is gone.. I cant start this med yet if I catch Strep :( The dr said I DONT have to live in a bubble and be as cautious as I WAS when I was on the other meds that I have been on, but, if someone is sick.. DONT go near them on purpose. so, we just have let her stay there with all the strep germs they already have.
I hope she gets well soon I really miss my kidlet!!!
Thank you all soooo very much also for your sweet comments and emails yesterday. I got all of them today so I may not have replied yet but I will. I have a ton of email to do. I am in a better mood (about that) today and back to my we are gonna get through this and it aint nothin but a shot attitude today. I am just gonna demand not to be sick rofl (as if that has worked so far ya know) from these meds.
So Im not worrying about it one more moment until it gets here. I have too much to do :) THANK YOU ALL AGAIN. YALL ROCK!!!

EDIT FOR PREVIOUS POST:

Well.. my dr appt at 2 pm kinda burst my bubble.
MY DR. doesnt want me on Copaxone doesnt think it is the right one or strong enough or whatever.IF it were his wife or daughter nope that is not the one they would take, sooo I have to go with Rebif (the one I was running from because of the side effects) SO I AM NOT a happy camper right now. I guess I can pray im one of the 1 in 200 that dont have side effects and maybe I can get to go to Birmingham otherwise. I wont feel like going or scrapping or doing anything for the next 3 to 4 months till I get used to it. This med I have to wait 10 days for the nurse to contact me to get me started on it and my meds to reach the pharmacy so that is gonna push me back some more with my goal. IM NOT gonna give up entirely. IT is still possible. Just gonna be a WHOLE lot harder to do. GEE THANKS DOC. BURST MY BUBBLE ALL TO HELL AND BACK.

HAPPY JULY 1st?

HAPPY JULY 1st! ITs a new month and IM all for this month being so much better than the last several.
Bella was supposed to come home today. (you notice that third word there? SUPOSED?)NO, my sister in law as bad as she would like to has not take my child completely away from me to raise as her little girl since she has all boys. BUT, THey all have STREP! Yeah. I felt so horrible yesterday. My baby 3 hours away sick and at the dr and here I was way down here. BUT, WHO WAS I KIDDING, She made out MUCH BETTER than if she was with us. AUNT LIZ, told her that shots equal toys, (this is good to remember for later on in this post bwahahaha) and she said she said "OH cool! I want a baby doll" and chilled out immediatly. (IF THAT WOULD ONLY WORK WHEN SHE WAS HERE!) So when I talked to her later and asked her if she was ok, She was telling me OH "IM FINE mommy, IM just a little sick, it was JUST a little shot, but... I SCWEEMDED.... LOUD!" BUT all is ok "cause AUNT LIZ took me to WAL MART, and Her got me a BABY BOY DOLL and its name is BABY BOY" (not to be confused with her 15 other baby dolls named ...(get ready).. BABY GIRL.)SHe had to go after that because she saw something... shiney or glittery in the distance or something. (yes she is my kid) so she couldnt be bothered with the parents on the phone. Liz sent me later THESE photos.



Before you go wiggin out NO SHE IS NOT IN A CAGE. That is the net from the trampoline. That is the only way that the kids can have a trampoline is with this net thing and THE ONLY REASON Bella is allowed to get on it period. (so chill gramma I know ya got ya keys goin to GET THAT BABY! she is fine TRUST ME)
SHE LOOK SICK? nope? Seriously the only reason they knew she had it was they tested all the kids because Zach had Strep, Bella SWORE her throat didnt hurt. STILL says it doesnt hurt. Liz said these photos were taken last night and she had to tell her look your supposed to be sick come chill for a bit. So My mind is a little more at ease. She isnt laying around all whiney cryin for mama.

IN OTHER NEWS... I Actually feel more like a human and not something that you would want to bury in the sand. So much has happened over the last several months so many things that are gonna change our life forever. HOPEFULLY NOW we can do something about it and move forward. TODAY is one of the new days of my life the realization that my life will contain shots in it. NO not shot glasses, although that might be a happy alternative. Its not really a big deal according to everyone I talk to. It is relatively more of just a aggravation, but one that would make life worse possibly if you don't do them. Even though there really is no cure for MS they do have medications to help prolong the time you stay out of the wheel chair. You still have flare ups and feel crappy at times. What Im getting at is there at least NOW THAT WE KNOW and HAVE A CORRECT DIAGNOSIS, can DO SOMETHING. WE have learned that THe heat is what really gets to me. (extremes, either really hot or really cold, dramatic weather changes or dramatic changes period) so Im going to be on a daily shot more than likely.
I find out all the rest of the story today when I go to the dr.
COPAXONE is the medication I chose. AND for those of my family and friends that are goin why did you pick that one. I got a choice between 3 medications. REBIF, Beta Seron and Copaxone. Well Copaxone is a daily shot but, barely any side effects if any. REBIF and Beta Seron,you take every other day BUT, the first 12 hours or so.. you feel like you have the flu. THAT GOES AWAY (they say) after a few MONTHS. BUT, I REALLY do not have time for shot induced flu right now.
I have a child that is 5 years old that is gonna be a 5 year old whether or not I feel crappy or not. So I said I will sacrifice and take a daily shot, less side effects and not feel so crappy, (cause if you know me I am an equal opportunity medication taker.. if there is a side effect to be had, I WILL HAVE IT. I will have side effects that are in the very very very fine print at the bootom that 1 in 2000 people that took a medication will take. I think it is from my rural upbringing of wanting to get your moneys worth haha.
SO anyway That is what is going on,
Today July 1st.
I have a short term goal I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLY more than ANYTHING besides being able to live a normal life (straight to Gods ear that one) but I want so bad to go to Birmingham to see Cheryl in August. I KNOW what your thinking. THat isn't that far away. It is a short term goal and gives me something to push for. When I flared horribly bad before, I had my wedding to push for. I literally cancelled my wedding because I couldnt walk. I refused to not be able to walk down the isle to my own wedding and I DID IT. I set a goal worked my tail off and I did it. Then after that The next flare, I made the goal to be able to go off medication so I could get pregnant. Well Yall know I did that because well.. BELLA!! lol

SO, I got to thinking, What is something in the near future I REALLY REALLY REALLY want. Something big I mean How do you top GETTING MARRIED or having a kid. I KNOWWW this is not a major life changing thing like getting married or having a baby but it is something I WANT. Financially, it might be tough for us to do. These shots are good gosh expensive and Bella will be starting back to school around then BUT, I really want to do this and that is to meet in person my long time friend Cheryl. I have known her for... wow, 3 almost 4 years no maybe its longer than that I was in Mississippi when I met her and was on my first design team. ANyway, you get the idea of how long I have ONLINE known her through instant message emails and talked to her on the phone. BUT, I mean that just isn't the same as seeing someone face to face, interacting and talking and laughing and better yet SCRAPPING WITH.
This would be something almost like a dream come true. Cheryl doesn't get to cross that mason dixon tooo often and this would be a perfect opportunity since she is gonna be in Birmingham teaching a class.
So, I AM HOPING and PRAYING I can work really really really hard, Get to some point of remission so I can go. Talk Jan into going with me (that wont be hard bwahahaha) Im gonna try very hard. FOCUS on this. DO WHAT MY DR SAYS (Including taking these blame shots and eating like plants and stuff) THIS is gonna be my focal point for the next month and a half. I KNOW. THAT is a short time. John grimmaced at me when I mentioned it HE is not thinking that is enough time. I told him I went from where I was 3 months ago to walking down an isle in a wedding dress in less than 3 months that I COULD SURELY DO THIS. I KNOW I KNOW not the same motivation (sorry Cheryl bwahahha) But I had to try to think of a date and something to look forward to that I REALLY wanted. Does it make sense?
I know my friends that DONT scrapbook are probably going YOU ARE KIDDING RIGHT. You are gonna set your goal on something like that. OK well you dont get it, ITS NOT THE SCRAPBOOKING, ITS THE GETTING TO MEET A FRIEND and BE ALL TOGETHER HAVING A GOOD TIME. Its feeling human and almost normal, ITS MORE that than the scrappping.. well YEAH THE SCRAPBOOKING WILL ROCK TOO CUZ CHeryl is like freakin AMAZZZIINNNGGGG. OH AND I HAVN'T FORGOTTEN THAT SHOTS EQUAL TOYS, so IM THINKING.. this would totally equal a wholeeee bunch a shots bwahahaha (since they will be daily forever...) SO ANYWAYYYY. That is what MY JULY 1st is consisting of. STARTING FRESH. MAKING GOALS. AND AN ACTION PLAN. SO, what are you doing today hahahaha!