Tuesday, July 01, 2008


Well.. my dr appt at 2 pm kinda burst my bubble.
MY DR. doesnt want me on Copaxone doesnt think it is the right one or strong enough or whatever.IF it were his wife or daughter nope that is not the one they would take, sooo I have to go with Rebif (the one I was running from because of the side effects) SO I AM NOT a happy camper right now. I guess I can pray im one of the 1 in 200 that dont have side effects and maybe I can get to go to Birmingham otherwise. I wont feel like going or scrapping or doing anything for the next 3 to 4 months till I get used to it. This med I have to wait 10 days for the nurse to contact me to get me started on it and my meds to reach the pharmacy so that is gonna push me back some more with my goal. IM NOT gonna give up entirely. IT is still possible. Just gonna be a WHOLE lot harder to do. GEE THANKS DOC. BURST MY BUBBLE ALL TO HELL AND BACK.


HAPPY JULY 1st! ITs a new month and IM all for this month being so much better than the last several.
Bella was supposed to come home today. (you notice that third word there? SUPOSED?)NO, my sister in law as bad as she would like to has not take my child completely away from me to raise as her little girl since she has all boys. BUT, THey all have STREP! Yeah. I felt so horrible yesterday. My baby 3 hours away sick and at the dr and here I was way down here. BUT, WHO WAS I KIDDING, She made out MUCH BETTER than if she was with us. AUNT LIZ, told her that shots equal toys, (this is good to remember for later on in this post bwahahaha) and she said she said "OH cool! I want a baby doll" and chilled out immediatly. (IF THAT WOULD ONLY WORK WHEN SHE WAS HERE!) So when I talked to her later and asked her if she was ok, She was telling me OH "IM FINE mommy, IM just a little sick, it was JUST a little shot, but... I SCWEEMDED.... LOUD!" BUT all is ok "cause AUNT LIZ took me to WAL MART, and Her got me a BABY BOY DOLL and its name is BABY BOY" (not to be confused with her 15 other baby dolls named ...(get ready).. BABY GIRL.)SHe had to go after that because she saw something... shiney or glittery in the distance or something. (yes she is my kid) so she couldnt be bothered with the parents on the phone. Liz sent me later THESE photos.

Before you go wiggin out NO SHE IS NOT IN A CAGE. That is the net from the trampoline. That is the only way that the kids can have a trampoline is with this net thing and THE ONLY REASON Bella is allowed to get on it period. (so chill gramma I know ya got ya keys goin to GET THAT BABY! she is fine TRUST ME)
SHE LOOK SICK? nope? Seriously the only reason they knew she had it was they tested all the kids because Zach had Strep, Bella SWORE her throat didnt hurt. STILL says it doesnt hurt. Liz said these photos were taken last night and she had to tell her look your supposed to be sick come chill for a bit. So My mind is a little more at ease. She isnt laying around all whiney cryin for mama.

IN OTHER NEWS... I Actually feel more like a human and not something that you would want to bury in the sand. So much has happened over the last several months so many things that are gonna change our life forever. HOPEFULLY NOW we can do something about it and move forward. TODAY is one of the new days of my life the realization that my life will contain shots in it. NO not shot glasses, although that might be a happy alternative. Its not really a big deal according to everyone I talk to. It is relatively more of just a aggravation, but one that would make life worse possibly if you don't do them. Even though there really is no cure for MS they do have medications to help prolong the time you stay out of the wheel chair. You still have flare ups and feel crappy at times. What Im getting at is there at least NOW THAT WE KNOW and HAVE A CORRECT DIAGNOSIS, can DO SOMETHING. WE have learned that THe heat is what really gets to me. (extremes, either really hot or really cold, dramatic weather changes or dramatic changes period) so Im going to be on a daily shot more than likely.
I find out all the rest of the story today when I go to the dr.
COPAXONE is the medication I chose. AND for those of my family and friends that are goin why did you pick that one. I got a choice between 3 medications. REBIF, Beta Seron and Copaxone. Well Copaxone is a daily shot but, barely any side effects if any. REBIF and Beta Seron,you take every other day BUT, the first 12 hours or so.. you feel like you have the flu. THAT GOES AWAY (they say) after a few MONTHS. BUT, I REALLY do not have time for shot induced flu right now.
I have a child that is 5 years old that is gonna be a 5 year old whether or not I feel crappy or not. So I said I will sacrifice and take a daily shot, less side effects and not feel so crappy, (cause if you know me I am an equal opportunity medication taker.. if there is a side effect to be had, I WILL HAVE IT. I will have side effects that are in the very very very fine print at the bootom that 1 in 2000 people that took a medication will take. I think it is from my rural upbringing of wanting to get your moneys worth haha.
SO anyway That is what is going on,
Today July 1st.
I have a short term goal I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLY more than ANYTHING besides being able to live a normal life (straight to Gods ear that one) but I want so bad to go to Birmingham to see Cheryl in August. I KNOW what your thinking. THat isn't that far away. It is a short term goal and gives me something to push for. When I flared horribly bad before, I had my wedding to push for. I literally cancelled my wedding because I couldnt walk. I refused to not be able to walk down the isle to my own wedding and I DID IT. I set a goal worked my tail off and I did it. Then after that The next flare, I made the goal to be able to go off medication so I could get pregnant. Well Yall know I did that because well.. BELLA!! lol

SO, I got to thinking, What is something in the near future I REALLY REALLY REALLY want. Something big I mean How do you top GETTING MARRIED or having a kid. I KNOWWW this is not a major life changing thing like getting married or having a baby but it is something I WANT. Financially, it might be tough for us to do. These shots are good gosh expensive and Bella will be starting back to school around then BUT, I really want to do this and that is to meet in person my long time friend Cheryl. I have known her for... wow, 3 almost 4 years no maybe its longer than that I was in Mississippi when I met her and was on my first design team. ANyway, you get the idea of how long I have ONLINE known her through instant message emails and talked to her on the phone. BUT, I mean that just isn't the same as seeing someone face to face, interacting and talking and laughing and better yet SCRAPPING WITH.
This would be something almost like a dream come true. Cheryl doesn't get to cross that mason dixon tooo often and this would be a perfect opportunity since she is gonna be in Birmingham teaching a class.
So, I AM HOPING and PRAYING I can work really really really hard, Get to some point of remission so I can go. Talk Jan into going with me (that wont be hard bwahahaha) Im gonna try very hard. FOCUS on this. DO WHAT MY DR SAYS (Including taking these blame shots and eating like plants and stuff) THIS is gonna be my focal point for the next month and a half. I KNOW. THAT is a short time. John grimmaced at me when I mentioned it HE is not thinking that is enough time. I told him I went from where I was 3 months ago to walking down an isle in a wedding dress in less than 3 months that I COULD SURELY DO THIS. I KNOW I KNOW not the same motivation (sorry Cheryl bwahahha) But I had to try to think of a date and something to look forward to that I REALLY wanted. Does it make sense?
I know my friends that DONT scrapbook are probably going YOU ARE KIDDING RIGHT. You are gonna set your goal on something like that. OK well you dont get it, ITS NOT THE SCRAPBOOKING, ITS THE GETTING TO MEET A FRIEND and BE ALL TOGETHER HAVING A GOOD TIME. Its feeling human and almost normal, ITS MORE that than the scrappping.. well YEAH THE SCRAPBOOKING WILL ROCK TOO CUZ CHeryl is like freakin AMAZZZIINNNGGGG. OH AND I HAVN'T FORGOTTEN THAT SHOTS EQUAL TOYS, so IM THINKING.. this would totally equal a wholeeee bunch a shots bwahahaha (since they will be daily forever...) SO ANYWAYYYY. That is what MY JULY 1st is consisting of. STARTING FRESH. MAKING GOALS. AND AN ACTION PLAN. SO, what are you doing today hahahaha!