Monday, July 10, 2006

good news/bad news

what do you want first? good news? bad news? Ok good news? ok. WELL good news I have 3 pubs in the last few days. I got freelance designer for scrappychic, I got a magazine pub for scrapstreet magazine and I was notified today I will be in september's hobby lobby magazine. I have to mail the layout in because it has shadows on it when I scan it sooo hubby will do that tomorrow for me. I applied for an amazing design team, scrapper's bliss where I met my friend Jeanne. We both are up for it and I pray at least one of us gets it IT WOULD SO ROCK if both of us got it. I just am not sure if I will cuz there are SOME AMAZING scrappers that are up for it and after looking at the ones that submitted well, Im not gonna hold my breath BUT I SOOOOOO WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING I LOVE that site and MAN ITS ROCKIN! SO I got all my fingers toes and anything else I can cross CROSSED. NOW.... the bad news... DR appt. the suckola part of my day today. I have endometriosis... again well it never goes away it gets better and worse. well He said IT doesnt get much worse than this that the only things I could do was either TRY MY DANGDEST to get pregnant and then have a hysterectomy or to go on and have a hysterectomy and since I had so much trouble with Bella having and carrying her whatever guess what my option is.... which is not all bad news I would be feeling ALOT BETTER and not have all these problems anymore. BUT the down side... you knew it was coming. I have to wait till I pass all these kidney stones before we can do the surgery sooo we are looking to August. NOT FUN so another month of suffering before I can do this. yehaw fun. I have mixed emotions I mean.. this makes it FINAL NO more babies. whatsoever it is permanent I mean once they take it out there aint no puttin it back ya know... that is the part I dont like but I KNOW I KNOW it is for the best. I just hate the finality. I always wanted lots of kids. this just settles it and I know we prayed for one healthy baby and I should not be greedy and ask for another and ANY other child we had would probably have a major complex cuz I woudl have to figure a way to scrapbook their life like I do bellas and MAN that would be a job lolol well I know this is for the best I just have to mourn my female organs for a few minutes and Ill be fine. THE GOOD PART. NO MORE MONTHLY MONSTER yipeee!

3 comments:

motobarbie said...

Very cool on the pubs. Sorry about the hysterectomy. I am heading that direction too. Now I also have endo and have a very hard time getting preggo, but for some reason God saw Caden in our future and he was so much easier to get preggo with then Devan. I had several surgeries and miscarriages before her. With him it was a cleaning and only two miscarriages. Sad yes I know but God blessed us. You just may want to try. I have several health probs so I can't even think about trying for more children but sometimes God works in mysterious ways!

Shawn said...

Congrats on the publications!

I'm so sorry you have to make the decision to make Bella an only child. I can't imagine. I had my tubes tied after 3 and I regret that even. Bella has to be one of the most loved children in the entire world and yes, every little one is a blessing and absolutely a miracle. Thank goodness for her. She is gorgeous!

I hope everything goes well physically and emotionally for you. Good luck. (((Hugs))).

Jenn said...

So excited for you on your pubs! I just love looking at your work. Wishing you and Jeanne the best with the DT position.

I'm sorry to hear about the hysterectomy. God works in mysterious ways...Praying all goes well for you- physically and emotionally. {hugs}