Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Return policy?

SO ughmm DO KIDS come with a return policy? IM tryin to find our receipt cuz man I't take this one back today. (yeah you know I would lose my mind in a day ok maybe 2 days missing my kid something horribly) Im lookin everywhere tryin to find the flippin owners manual that came with this kid cuz omg she has to be malfunctioning somewhere. MOMMY NEEDS TO FIND THE BATTERYS AND TAKE THEM OUT A COUPLE HOURS!

It never fails ESPECIALLY on the days when you dont feel yourself. You are achey and tired and just feel bad. If you could sleep maybe what 8 or 9 more days IT MIGHT make it better...( I see you shaking your head yes cuz well YOU completely understand) That kids do everything in their power to just make your head split in half and an alien form come out to beat their butt. IT is like they thrive or welcome the butt kicking they need. THEy are suffering from butt whoop deprivation. I was laying down on the couch. still feel yuck. Bella is playing with her "peoples"(little people thingys with the village and the houses she has like the entire TOWN with their own royal family and she calls one "MR PESIDNET" SO she is riding Mr Pesident around in his Little people mobile pulling a little trailer with "MR Pesidents WIYUN" (his lion) I guess when Your president YOU GET TO have whatever PET YOU FEEL LIKE. and I GUESS I drifted off cuz I was starled by "AM I BOOTIFUL?" I LOOK UP and see THIS It seems she snuck off to my bedroom closet where I keep in a box my old makeup that maybe the color didnt match well or whatever but I hate to throw away.. because I can use it halloween and for other stuff OR IF in some weird way I get to be in the sun again and actually have a tan.. UGHMM yeah right. SO NOW I am Throwing it all away. SO I look up and my first thought is OH GOD SHE IS BLEEDING. THEN my next thougth OH IM FIDDNA MAKE YOU BLEED will you PLEASE quit meddling in stuff.
WHAT IS the deal man!!! SO I look around she has drawn smilys on the TV with the lipstick and the windows and its in the carpet. SO I counted to like.. A MILLION. Made her clean it up and tell me she was sorry. I sit down on the couch again Still feel like crapp on the bottom of a shoe. I think for a bit and say OK you wanna watch little bear (her favorite show) mommy needs to work for a few minutes. WILL you watch this so I can go do this right quick. YES MOMMY IM a good girl I watch little bear.
OK I should have known better. SO I walk into the kitchen. SHe has pulled out her EPI pen the practise one and is giving her baby doll shots with it. OH MY GOD. I lost it. HOW DID YOU GET THIS. I CLIMBED UP THERE. SHe gets a chair and climbs onto the counter onto the refrigerator and gets it. UGHHHHH! DID WE NOT JUST HAVEEE THIS DISCUSSION? SO I explain to her the dangers of climbing and that SHE KNOWSS not to mess with this OR ANY MEDICINE unless mommy or daddy gives it to her. she is shaking her head yes. SO I punish her. NO TV and go to your room. OK YOU WOULD THINK this would be like throwing the brrrr rabitt into the briar patch. IF I WAS A KID ID LOVEEE HER ROOM. SHe has every toy known to man (hmm thinking this wont be much longer cuz we are takign them away as she misbehaves) but no SHE starts crying and whining and acting a fool cuz she wants to come in the living room. WEll IM TRYING to clean up what she couldnt clean and get it looking like people who care live here.
IM just exasperated Just tired. Frustrated and dangit STILL DONT FEEL GOOD.
I think I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN it was gonna be a rough day when at 4 am I walk into the kitchen and look down and get the heebie jeebies scared out of me when I see this:
OK the ball is NOT THAT intimidating when its in the day light but in a barely lit room at 4 am when they have you on drugs for pain. IT LOOKS LIKE A BIG A$$ FACE EATING SPIDER! SO I almost screamed but didnt, but I did JUMP onto a chair though then realised OK.. maybe, that is just Bellas face eating BALL, and it wont get you too bad Nancy. BUT I swear it moved. THat is when I decided NO...oh Heck no.. maybe it is really a face eating puffer fish but, no, there is no water in here today.. that was last week bella flooded the kitchen.. maybe its lost looking for its home again. AHHH but no, once dayslight hit.. I confirmed the fact that IT was just the Super scary creepy looking face eating ball.
NO I didn't (thank GOD) wake up John to have him come kill it cuz I was scared it wasnt really there and he would say OK yeah its time honey and take me to that special room they are holding for me.
SO anyway... IT has been ONE OF THOSE FLIPPIN DAYS!!!
WHat about you. BLOG about what your day has been like and link us back so we can add your name to the rak in the box (we draw names once a week at TrEAsures to scrap for blog participants. COME SEE!

IM thinking of submitting Bella as My altered Item for this month... I keep saying I am gonna do it...


Robin said...

OMG....Nancy...You are too funny.. Poor Bella...and she was just playin dress up...wanting to look as bootiful as momma...LMAO....
I hope you get to feeling better soon!

Anilu Magloire said...

I know it aint funny but... I'm LOL!!!!
I have been right there more times than I want to remember.
Oh, and the pics are priceless :)

It's Just me...Crazy "T" said...

OMG.... ummmm warning please empty your mouth before reading is required from now on when you post like this.. Gal.... I just skeared the cat half to death, I no longer have any mascara on because it all came off with the tears of laughter rolling down my face!!!!!!
Hi Bella!!!!! be nice to your mummy.. they will take her away in a white jacket if you dont!!!
love ya gal!!!

Di Hickman said...

hahahaahha! And you all wonder why I'm sticking with dogs!!!!

Julie said...

LMAO Oh my Nancy!!!! I am sorry, I shouldn't be laughing...but I can't help it!!! You poor thing! Maybe you need to put some super glue on her butt and stick her in a chair....KIDDING..KIDDING!!!! *LOL*

Magpie (Jan Connair) said...

Hope it's all going better today! (lol--"take out the batteries for a few hours", I will have to remember that one!)

Allison Davis said...

That was so funny to read!!! We have many days like that around here!!

jan williams said...

Woman I sware to you, You need to write stand up comedy.
I want you to know I have a six inch incision on my back, due to hardware removable last Tuesday and I sware that doctor must have glued it really well cause I promise you I could feel it trying to pull apart laughing at your crazy butt!!!!!