dang its hot

WEll we got out in the little pool for a bit but Bella is SOOOOO MAD cuz I made us come in around lunch. SHe doesn't understand mommy can't be in the sun. It sucks I know but I just can't. I will be sick for weeks if I get out there long. HOW do you make a 4 year old understand you will virtually explode if you stay in the sun when you have Lupus. Funny now how It makes so much sense how in the years past in the summer I would go on vacations and trips and when we were outside long periods of time in the sun I ALWAYS got sick. We used to go to the river and ski and swim and Id be sick. IF I was in remission I was fine but IF for some reason this was acting up I got sooooo sick. WHO knew. I guess they just never suspected this crapp till it came to a full blown head after daddy got killed. NOW we know and can prevent those some. ONe of my biggest triggers.. the sun. The other... STRESS. SO IT has been soo hard cuz I LOVEEEEEEE the outside and I LOVE laying in the sun and going to the beach but I just cannot do it until Im off all the meds and into full remission. BUT HOW do you explain that to a 4 year old. Days like this suck. She wants to go outside so bad. Maybe this afternoon when it cools some we can go back out for a while... right now just from being out an hour I need a nap. IM drained. Physically EXHAUSTED. YOU THINK she is gonna lay down and let me rest... UGHM NO I get almost asleep she punches me WHAT ARRE YOU DOING MOM ITS NOT NIGHT TIME! HAHAHAHA. Man do I remember those days.
I guess we will just have to swim by flashlight and bug repellant. A VAMPRIRE I MUST BE! OH well. Maybe I wont have wrinkles and will look ravishing in my old age bwahahahaha ITs too dang hot out there anyway WHO wants to be out there in that (meee OH well. Maybe I can get her interested in a card game. EVEr seen a 4 year old play poker? That is about the age when daddy started teaching me. See how bad this makes wilmaths head spin heehe